Thursday, May 16, 2013

Who is your care provider?



The pregnancy and birth first time round is a funny beast. Exciting, a new adventure of learning and anticipation that something huge is about to happen. For me it was "oh we are 4 weeks" or 15 weeks which is no big deal as the majority is yet to come and you still have plenty of time. By 21 weeks it really hits home that you are having a baby. The gravity, inevitability, the responsibility is absolute. I don't know how many time we said, "can you believe that we, are having a baby?' Your child and your wifes belly gets bigger, normal tasks become harder to accomplish as does a good nights sleep.

There are several options available to and you they all have their pros and cons. Each couple are different with their wants, needs and wishes from their provider. There are no wrong answers are there?

First is the family doctor. They are a trusted, well known individuals with a huge scope of practice, a jack of all trades whose knowledge is vast. Deliveries would be something that they do on a somewhat regular basis and would be well versed. GPs however are not specialised in Labour and Delivery as this is not their primary focus. If you want someone you can trust, go for the GP.

OBGYNs, specialist in their fields, well educated, highly trained and paid for that matter and someone you can count on when things turn from good to bad. However when it comes to the birth they generally sneak into the room at the last minute to ensure that all is well and will be gone soon after, as long as everything goes well of course. They can be hard to track down in your moment of need or resting comfortably in their quarters. 

Both times we went with a midwife. With insider knowledge my wife knew exactly which practice and group within the practice she wanted, having worked with the majority of them. It made my experience better knowing that she was comfortable and I had complete trust in them. The appointments become more frequent as the weeks and months pass until the birth. Obviously there are choices to be made as to which practice you will go with but I would recommend the a midwife. They meet you in your home after the labor begins and will be with you until after your child is born. Home visits post delivery is also apart of their service. 

Then there are Doulas. Doulas are labour support and are there to help you through with your "birth plan". It’s all well and good of having a birth plan and a Doula but when the shit hits the fan and things become life and death, literally, both are useless. Most people think of doulas as hippies that gained their certification over a weekend course, burning incense in a darkened room whilst chanting and beating a drum. For the majority of the time, you are correct! Whilst I can see their role in the process and some medical professionals are doulas, the hospital will provide a university & on the job trained, educated labour and delivery nurse that delivers on average between 1-3 babies per shift. Instead, go for someone who knows you, knows what you want and someone that you feel comfortable with. A friend or trusted relative that has been there and done that is a much more logical choice.

Ultimately the choice is yours,  and as long your choice does not make for a harrowing experience and mother and baby are fine then, alls well that ends well.





Monday, May 6, 2013

Time Flies



It has been some time since I last wrote, nigh on 3 months. Such is family life. Not a huge amount of time in reality or geological terms though the difference from a one month old to a 4 month old is astonishing!

We are fortunate to have an incredibly calm and happy baby. Whilst our first was similar we dared not say for fear that this one would prove us wrong though he is a great baby and crying only for food, a change or gas. Otherwise a happy and content little man that could not get more love and affection from his 2 year old sister. Obviously there is the whole Nature Vs Nurture debate and what I know to be true from my family and others I have come to know, kids will reflect the parent’s attitudes, demeanor and zest for life. Whatever that may be, essentially calm parents equal a calm baby (colic and other medical conditions excluded).

His wrinkles have now turned to rolls as he fattens up nicely. From 3 months babies can now take a bottle which is great for the Mom as they are able to spend some time away from the baby which is great for the sanity of the family unit as a whole. Obviously the father assumes more responsibility but is great to be able to get out and about with your little dude.

Life does change with kids and even more so with two kids but it’s important that you bring them with you as you go about your life. You still get to do the things that you want and the kids become more socialised and adaptable to new and different situations and environments. In a world with one child it was great when one partner had them with them as they go about their daily activities, the other would be childless, free to spend their time working, running errands, chores, drinking and watching sport, study or exercising. With two it is near impossible to get time to yourself. Looking back one baby is a breeze!

Two are exponentially busier than one and by my own logic the same for 2 to 3 kids, only time will tell. Two years being the difference, the toddler is inquisitive, rambunctious, boundary pushing and a mimic which makes simple tasks a lot more complicated. Preparing dinner can be a task with the toddler singing, dancing, jumping, stretching and otherwise being an angel entertaining themselves if it were not for the fact that they do this whilst standing over a newborn baby. The dog is going nuts at the fence, the buzzer goes, the phone is ringing all at the precise time you start handling the chicken. The good thing is that you have prepared the bottles, water and formula as there is not much worse than waiting for the water to boil, sterilize and then wait for it to cool down enough to feed your screaming hangry child (about 30 mins).

Don't get me wrong  we have our share of kicking, slapping, biting, toys/books to the side of the head of the new comer so keeping them separated is draining and now as the youngster starts to roll they need to be entertained more and in a safer place. Keeping a baby safe and entertained seems to be mutually exclusive unless you are holding them which makes cooking, sleep, eating, keeping a blog, laundry, work, driving, vacuuming and showering to name a few, near impossible.

As hard as it is, tiring, time consuming and believe it or not it does get stressful, it is incredible. Take the time to spend time with your kids as you won't regret it. When they run down the hall with their arms open and yell DADA as you come home, you soon forget the rest.